Building Parent-Professional Partnerships

Effective Communication and Negotiation

Professional Tips

People often relate the most valuable details of their lives in a story telling fashion.

Effective listeners strive to make the person speaking the center of attention. Look at the person and put other thoughts aside until they have finished speaking; attend to the here and now rather than figuring out how to reply or solve the problem. This may mean putting your pen down and not writing until after the person has finished speaking.

Begin discussions with positive comments, especially when negative issues must be discussed. Don’t express opinions or add additional comments. Talk only about the problem and focus on strategies for solving the issue. End with positive comments.

If in conflict with someone, sit next to them rather than across.

When working through negotiation, clearly understand the problem you are trying to resolve with the other party. Prioritize the items that are most important to you and what you are willing to give in on and what you cannot change. Be receptive to alternatives that meet both your needs. If possible, take time to regroup and meet again later.

When we talk with people we draw conclusions about what was meant. We unconsciously interpret what is being said by filtering communication (tone, dress, behavior, words spoken, nonverbal cues etc.) through our own ideas, experiences and values. When we attempt to make sense of what was perceived and our conclusion is close to what was intended, we establish an understanding and our response is appropriate. Sometimes though, our filters (values, beliefs, past experiences) create inaccurate meanings and we make erroneous assumptions. The solution is to get more information—clarify meaning and discuss interpretations. This is fairly easy. Before responding, ask questions. “Do you mean…?” “Can you explain?” “This is what I thought you meant, is this correct?”

Confrontations can be solved in an assertive rather than aggressive way. Clearly state the problem. Tell how you feel. Explain how the situation is affecting you. Suggest a solution (what you want done). Tell why this solution will benefit everyone. Be direct. Stay with the problem, don’t wander off topic or bring in extra information. Thank the other person. Allow time for a solution; don’t expect instant resolution.

As professionals, we often have to take notes while someone is speaking. It is courteous to ask people if they mind if we write as they talk, or to explain that we are listening as we write.

An exchange of ideas, values, beliefs and feelings softens the professional/family division.

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