Building Parent-Professional Partnerships

Effective Communication and Negotiation

Good communication skills are essential when forming effective partnerships. We can all point to examples of situations when poor communication created difficult circumstances. Communication is an essential part of negotiation. Negotiation is a learned skill. We start when we are children, convincing our parents why we should have that new bike or why we should be allowed to go to the movies, etc. As we mature, we refine and practice these skills in our dealings with others. Negotiation is not new to any of us. Perhaps we didn’t recognize these interactions as negotiations!

Let’s look at how effective communication can improve our negotiation skills. Here are some techniques you may find helpful for improving your communication skills.

Tools for Effective Communication

Active Listening Techniques:

Mirroring – repeat exactly what someone has just said. This is used to make sure you are hearing correctly what they are saying. Be careful not to overuse mirroring as it can become annoying if you repeat everything that is said to you!

Paraphrasing –summarize briefly what you have just heard. This is an effective tool for making sure that you understand the underlying meaning of what was just told to you. This helps clarify what is actually “meant”, especially when lots of “jargon” or acronyms are used.

Reflecting – listen and encouraging dialogue by using body language. Body language can either encourage or discourage dialogue. If for example you are looking at the individual and nodding that you understand, this tells the person you are paying attention and “listening”. If you have your body positioned in a defensive way (arms crossed, body tense) you are saying you do not like what is being said and you are not “listening”.

Validating – support their thoughts/feelings by communicating that you understand they are feeling a certain way, that their feelings are valid.

Reframing – redefine a problem using positive terms. This is a powerful tool. Often, if a person begins with a negative statement, it eliminates possibilities. If you state the problem in a positive light you are encouraging possible solutions

Finding Common Ground:

Finding common ground is the best way to get where you want to go. By finding something you can both agree upon, it is easier to work through what difference you may have. It is this “common ground” which enables partners to understand the other person values and opinions and to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

Dealing Effectively with Conflict:

• Speak and listen respectively
• Be considerate of the emotions involved. Issues close to you or your child tend to be emotional.
• Honor values different from your own
• Respect a person’s history and past experiences
• Respect the need for structure, predictability and fairness

Negotiation and problem solving are basic skills you will need to become an effective partner and to ensure the best outcomes for your child. The following video will demonstrate problem solving, negotiation and good communication skills. The video will also discuss how to schedule and facilitate meetings.

If you haven’t already, view the video In the Driver’s Seat for additional information.

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